What to do??....

At 25 I still do not know what I want to do in this life - I feel like I have no actual passion or ambition. Nothing really stands out to me - no bright neon lit arrow is pointing at a particular destination or career saying "this is it!".

On the way back from someone's house, my dad and my little sis and I were having a conversation in the car about just such a subject and consequently it got me thinking -again! I just dont know what I want to do.

I am applying for teaching and sometimes I think thats what i want to do but I am unsure - what if its not? What if it is yet again something I attempt only to get bored or be unsuccessful at it?
Is it my lot in life to work at bitty, unsatisfying jobs??
Do I even have the courage to attempt some random, possibly exciting direction??

I feel like I have worked pretty hard in my educational career & I have been pretty straight-laced in my life and now I kinda feel like 'where has that got me?!'. U know? I feel like mayb I shud break-out and do something random and damn the consequences!

yet who will probably suffer in the long-run? Me. But then 5 or 10 yrs down the line I do not want to have regrets of 'what ifs' and 'maybes'. I want to do it all, attempt everything I want to and experience this life and this world God has blessed me with to the max.

If only i have the courage and fortitude and maturity to carry it through.

Can I just quit my job and go galavanting abroad?! Cud I have the courage to do it?? I am sooooo tempted!

Lams is going to Ghana for charity for 3 months in January and I am so bloody jealous! I wanna go!!!!!!!!

I want a satisfying, challenging, interesting, socialising career - one that MATTERS. As in one that helps make the world a better place. I want to have fun in my career and know I am helping people.

I want to be an Eco-warrior or look after orphans in Kashmir or save the amazon rainforest. I want to do something I look back on with pride and think 'I did that!'.

But what is this elusive thing I want to do - because I am tempted by so much! there is so much I want to do and experience.... so much of this world I want to see! And its not like I have the money to go off to do many or even any of these things. Being carefree costs money nowadays!

I just wish I had a definate direction in my mind- one that fit everything my heart desires. Whatever that is!