help me

Ever had moments where it feels like the whole world has gone mad?

Madness seeps in.

It takes over.

Colours the moments in the colours of rage, anger and bewilderment.

The heart beats fast.

I can feel the blood rushing through my veins.

The heat.

The cold.

The shock.

I feel the flesh hitting my flesh.

I feel that very pain in my heart.

And I know, in this moment, something has broken. It can never be repaired or reclaimed.

It is gone.

My heart breaks all over again.

I sit in the quiet that is loud, the drums sounding in my ear. The blood rushes, gushes, moves.

I sit.

I wait for understanding.

It doesnt come.

Tears leak, they rage, they scream - nothing changes.

I bleed. I rage. I scream. Nothing changes.

I dont want to be here. I dont want to be anywhere. I want to leave this place. This world. I want to begone.

I hate myself.

I finally realise you hate me too.