ungenerous

Well today we called over what is left of this family (naniK, athar mamu, mami, raoda & co) and had a little family discussion.
It turns out certain members of this family think me and Lamees "ungenerous" and I am apparantly a "cager" or a user.
Anyway, since this was not said to us but to others we thought we would get it all out into the open and sort it all out and hopefully move on.
SO certain accusations were made towards me and Lamees but I think overall it is my character and generosity that is in question and a few times the comment was made that "Lamees is always generous" or "Lamees if OK" and things along these lines though some harsh comments were made questioning her honour and character too in this regard.
Mamu got very defensive and angry - he made some unjust comments & his evidence I think proved his wrongdoing not ours - however, I think he does not see it this way. I do not think we can ever convince him of his injustice or wrong doing.
He may think there was or is 'haq' or wisdom and/or Islamic outlook in his actions & thoughts but I do not see it. Instead I see accusations made on our honour & character from him and injustice. Arrogance even.

Once again, I find it hard to know who to trust, and whose word is honest. I hate having relationships where there is little or no trust.

I hate even more being talked about behind my back - and it happens with too much regularity with this family.

I do not think I am ungenerous. Thoughtless yet but I do not do it consciously - I try my best to be a good friend, a good person - sometimes I make mistakes. But for these to be held and remembered and reaccounted for years after the fact is too much.

I think we have made it clear to the fanily that we would prefer it that they discussed any problems or issues they had with us to our face. and Insha'allah this will clear up matters.

But I am still left with bitterness and hurt in my heart. My feelings and emotions are turmoiled and confused and I want to lash out.

I do not know where to go from here. I can only pray that Allah guides my actions to the good, honourable and gives me 'hiqma' or wisdom to deal with the trials and issues that come along the way.