contact

...sometimes I feel like my body, my skin, will die from the need for human contact. That contact that comes with true affection; a hug, a kiss, holding of the hands - something.

It is said that babies can wither and die without human touch and sometimes I feel I am the same - I can feel some part of my soul, important to me in its own way, withering and dying from lack of contact. It needs feeding - just like the rest of my soul. Only it is not getting the contact it needs.

I feel so alone in this need. It is not a need for a husband or lover or anything like that but just for some genuine contact. The kind that can be given and received, no questions asked.

Sometimes, I sit in my room with tears in my eyes because the need to be held, hugged, touched, comforted is so strong that I dare not leave my room in case I give in and am yet again disappointed by my needs not being met or understood. I feel like my needs are judged and I am judged along with them. I feel like they are not understood or given importance.

And I doubt everything I feel.

I feel like a freak. Someone emotionally unstable and needy. I wonder if its true.