I had a very very interesting dream last night and I thought I'd share it with you...
It was set in the future, and we were all at a Duaat Program, but this wasnt any ordinary Duaat camp, oh no! It was set in a 5* hotel in London (like thats ever gonna happen!). lol
Its a very pretty hotel, btw!Just incase u wanted to know....
Naima, stop analysing this! :-P
SO, in the dream everyone is there.... Dr. Ayman, Khala Naveen -they r all running around organising things like they always do.
But, Sondes is doing something too. She is caught by the CCTV cameras and Umm Sondes and Abu Sondes watch what she is doing, amazed at what she is doing.
She is in a hotel room. And what is she doing??? She is jumping on the bed and singing at the top of her lungs and dancing. This is no ordinary dance - nope. She is dancing like she has lost her mind.
Imagine this. Sondes!
Abu Sondes and Umm Sondes cannot believe what they r seeing and are saying things like "what is she doing?!". Umm Sondes is shaking her head and hoping no one else can see Sondes.
LOL -how funny is that?!
There are lines that no one should cross. Lines of dignity, lines of ethics, of just plain humanity. Apparently, there are no such lines in Israel. It makes me sick what one human can do to another. Israel should be one of the most peace-loving nations in the world - but its not. Its filled with hate and death. The Jews who have been so persecueted in their lifetime, should know better! Should have a greater respect for human life than anyone. Yet, they seem to want to repeat the mistakes that have gone ahead of them. It seems to be a "do onto others worse than what they have done onto you" and a "dont turn the other cheek but get a rocket launcher blow them off this rock" policy! WHY?
Look carefully at the picture of this woman - when I saw it, I just felt her heartache in my heart. I feel the anguish that shows on her face. WHats her story....???
It is: "Manal Ghamen is serving 50 months sentence since April 2003. She had given birth of her baby, Nour, in prison in a very harsh humanitarian situation as the prison administration did not bother to provide her with any medical care while having her baby." Manal Ghanem is suffering from blood problem known as Cooly's Anemia and thus she cannot breastfeed her baby. The prison administration at Hasharon Prison denied Manal and Nour any medical care, and oddly enough deprived the newly born baby Nour of the milk he needs to survive" Adameer, reported." (taken from www.aljazeerah.info)
This is what the world is coming to - where mothers are seperated from children, where innocent children suffer for problems not of their making.........
I dont know about u, but this makes me friggin FURIOUS!
Sometimes its so hard to make the choices you have to - to make the right choice.
Like... what is the best ice cream flavour in the world? Is Cadbury's Fruit and Nut better than Plain Chocolate? What is better, Ben & Jerry's or Hagan Daz?
Once important questions like that are out of the way, there are other questions like.... where do I want to go in life? Would I rather go down the career route or the shaadi route? Mayb both or either one of those could end up being dead-ends... then what?!
I cut my own hair today - couldnt afford to pay someone for it so I did it myself - not very well but atleast its not completely butchered. Hair needs to be trimmed regularly to be healthy and mine hadn't been cut in almost a year!!!
I have a job interview tomorrow but they have messed up by not emailing me where it is, so now all I know is I have a job interview at 10am tomorrow. How messed up is that?!
I feel like I want to get out tonight.... If there was a beach nearby I'd go for a nice (slightly chilly) walk and mayb I'd be a bit wild and run into the sea (I love doing that!). I love the feel of sand underneathe my feet, especially warm sand. Like on the beaches in Spain or Morrocco.
AND, I want to go abroad again!!! Its been too long! I want to go travelling and see the world. Meet different people. Experience different cultures.... I want to get OUT OF HERE!!!
I want, I want, I WANT...... I WANT so much for myself, for my life..... Allah help me achieve it all.
I'm rambling....
There are so many thoughts inside my head, so many ideas.... its a little hard to think them all at the same time, nevermind sort them all out.
I watched a documentary on C4 about the Bradford Riots. About what happened there that night, not so long ago. What happened between the fascists, the "pakis" and the police. A triangle of hate, deceit and violence. My cousins live in Bradford. They were there that night...not rioting - their mum wud have killed them for sure if they had - but they caught a glimpse of what happened. They never really talked about it. But from what I saw on this docudrama, it shows how hate can spread like a contagious virus; out of control, out into a world so full of misunderstandings that no one sees the woods for the trees. I cannot imagine how it must have been that night. To be caught up in it. As an asian, and a muslim, it would be tempting to blame it all on the NF (National Front, people!) and police brutality. But my community is not without blame. We have an isolationist society, we "coloured" communities stick together, staring out at anyone different. We are suspicious, ok so not without due reason, but someone has to grow up first. Whos it going to be?
IT has to be us muslims. Afterall, thats what we are here for. To bring peace and justice - as is our place as the Khalifah on this Earth. It is OUR duty to make people understand. Not theirs to conform to our views blindly.
There were so many messages that I could have walked away with from the documentary... many of them extremely aggravating and frustrating. LH(my sister) was saying that we r lucky to be living in Britain, we r lucky because we r freer than many and that this, this, was the scariest fact of all..... that even while watching this thing.... we are lucky. That it is a sad fact indeed, a sad testiment to the world at large, that this situation, this impasse can be considered lucky.
How true.
I love Britain. It is my home. I am British, This is part of me, of who I am. No one can take that away from me.
But Britain is becoming less and less British, not because of all the immigrants and refugees as the fascists claim, but because of our own ignorance and intolerance. Because of us, the British people. The British were once known for their tolerance and understanding.... all too soon we shall lose that reputation if we keep going down the road we r on.
Why do we not stand in the streets and demand our rights?Why do we not stand together.... stand not for our differences but for those things that hold us together as a society, such as our common humanity.
Is that not what it means to be human? To be part of this great, big, huge, global community?
As my friends know I am a huge Lord of the Rings fan and in The Two Towers, the movie, the Kind of Rohan says "what can a person do against such blind hate?" and Aragorn (hero to many!) replies, "ride out with me, meet them...".
OK so I have no horse, nor a shield, nor a sword, ok, ok, I have no weapons, no training...no heroic tendancies even.... but the idea itself is sound. If u see something wrong - fix it.
I reckon we ought to atleast try.
Now.... as to how... well, thats my next problem. Any ideas???
Ok, so my first day back after my extended (!) illness and it was a tough slog! Make dua that it goes well! I may b getting fired - I'm in the middle of deciding whether that is good or bad. I mean need the job....but.... well, u know!
Why is life like this? Constantly throwing curve balls? Cant it be simple and un-complicated? It would be nice to get a job I like, that constantly challenges me, that pays well, is fun and rewarding.
Where is this job?!
Ya Allah help me!
OK.... I may not be the most dedicated member of the work force out there but this is ridiculous! A migraine that lasts for over a week and makes me feel shitty in the mornings but kinda "OK" the rest of the day?!?! Am I weird or what?
And I do not like my job, so am desperately looking for another but meanwhile cos of this weirdo-migraine, I just cannot force myself to go into my current job -which makes me look like a really crap employee - which I guess I am!
Ya Allah.... please get me the job of my dreams! (Once I get this job, I'll know what the job of my dreams was - cos I aint gotta clue now!).
And can someone let me know wat I actually wanna do for the rest of my life?!
So here I am sat at 0744, feeling like crap (in so many ways!) and not going to work.....
HELP ME!!!
Like I said.... its a little something I found online and thought it was sweet and kinda follows on from the previous theme...
"
Why are you crying, a young boy asked his Mom?
"Because I'm a woman," she told him.
"I don't understand," he said.
His Mom just hugged him and said,
"And you never will, but that's O.K.".......
Later the little boy asked his father,
"Why does Mom seem to cry for no reason?".
"All women cry for no reason," was all his Dad could say......
The little boy grew up and became a man,
still wondering why women cry.
Finally he put in a call to God and when God got back to him, he asked "God, why do women cry so easily?"
GOD answered......
"When I made woman,
I decided she had to be special.
I made her shoulders
strong enough to carry
the weight of the world, yet,
made her arms gentle enough to give comfort...
I gave her the inner strength
to endure childbirth
and the rejection
that many times will come
even from her own children.
I gave her a hardness
that allows her
to keep going and take care
of her family and friends,
even when everyone else gives up, through sickness and fatigue without
complaining....
I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all
circumstances. Even when her child has hurt her badly....
She has the very special power to make a child's boo-boo feel better and
to quell a teenager's anxieties and fears....
I gave her strength to care for her husband, despite faults
and I fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart....
I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but
sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him
unfalteringly....
For all of this hard work,
I also gave her a tear to shed.
It is hers to use
whenever needed and !
it is her only weakness....
When you see her cry,
tell her how much you love her, and all she does for everyone, and even though
she may still cry, you will have made her heart feel good."
Every so often I start thinking of her.... and thinking of her makes me wonder how different life would be if she was still here. I look around me and see the relationships others have with theirs and I wonder what my relationship with her would be like by now. Would we be amicable and friendly? Would she be my best friend - she always had been in the past, so I hope that would not change.
I am of course talking about my mother. I don't know why I am thinking of her so much today but I just had to share my feelings.
All of you out there that still have your mothers - appreciate them. You know the old cliche; "you dont know what you have till its gone"? Well, this is one of those instances where this applies - only its worse, like x100,000! Tell her everyday that you love her, make her feel appreciated no matter how bossy or annoying she may be that day, help her, become her best friend, hug her, kiss her, cuddle her, adore her - cos if, asthaghfirullah, a day comes when she is no longer with you, you will be filled with regret that you did not appreciate her enough, that you did not spend enough time with her.
DO NOT let the seconds, minutes or days pass you by. Make use of every instant Allah gives you.
I don't know why I miss her so much at the moment. I miss her more every new day. Mayb its cos I need her advice, maybe its cos I need her support, her friendship, her loyalty, her complete, unwavering love.... there are so many things only a mother can give a daughter. As time goes by... I discover more and more of them.
In Islam, paradise is at the foot of your mother. Then why is it that so few of us treat our mothers as if they are our gateway to heaven?!
My mother is gone - don't wait till yours is too. Go now to her and spend some time with her.
And then (if you can) - go hug your dad :-)
