Lostkitty

Sometimes I think I am totally weird and that my body is even weirder than I am - therfore compounding the problem!
Yesterday I was so very sleepy and lethargic at work; it got to the point where I really couldnt let myself sit down for very long or I wud have fallen asleep! and that wud NOT have impressed the boss-lady.

While I was kinda out of it and feeling like parts of me were about to float off I remembered a friend.I have not seen in friend in almost 10 years and I miss her a lot. She is someone who shaped my childhood and stood by me when I needed support and lent me her shoulder to cry on.
Why was I thinking of her? Well the thought of this friend were brought on by thinking of another friend who is having problems with her fiance being an idiot; and to top it off her mother was making it harder for her to decide what to do. Anyways it was this that started the memory neurons firing...

You see this friend I was remembering was my mother. Looking back on it I realise she was the best friend of my childhood. I have so many good, amazing memories of her and so I realise I was blessed. I remember chilly mornings and playing with her in front of the warming flames of fireplace. I remember silly birthday presents and stupid outfits she made us wear.
I remember the first pair of heels she bought me (I hurt myself in them and she proved her point! lol ). I remember freezing nights when she wud let me crawl into her bed and snuggle so I could get warm. i remember all these things and more - I remember how kind, giving and generous a mother and friend she was and I thank God for the time I had with her.

I will never be able to hav another argument with her or be told off by her. I will never introduce any more new friends to her or tell her about my new job or my plans or what i want to do today, tomorrow and in my life. I won't be able to talk to her about the guy I want to marry or have her help me plan a wedding (should there be one!). I will never have another conversation with her about good looking guys (yes even then we talked about this stuff!)...

But.... thats ok. I miss her, I want her to be here with me but the fact that she is not is... OK. I accept it as the way things are.
So this is not some whining or complaining that I dont have my mother but rather just saying i miss her and talking about some of the thoughts going through by head.

Alternatively, I am still immersed in Bleach Anime and it has got more interesting tho its format has got slightly disjointed and confusing but you know me! I gotta know what happens next!!!!