unknown hopes & dreams

Have u ever felt like there was something inside u crying??

Sometimes I just want to cry... I dont have a reason, nothing in particular is making me cry - but I feel this pressure in my chest and I wanna cry. I cant describe the feeling - its not exactly sadness, it feels more profound. Through the day I can feel the pressure building and I wanna scream with it and really let it rip. (lol)

I dont know what this feeling is - this heaviness in my heart. What is the cure for this unsettling feeling??

It feels sad, depressing, overwhelming, tearful, wet, clawing, heavy and needy.

Like something inside me in calling out to this empty world - for something. Something.

Is it for unknown hopes and dreams? Things desired that cannot be verbalised or vocalised??

I was just speaking to a friend who is going through such a painful and hard time - May Allah relieve her pain & suffering & may she pass through this test a stronger and better Muslim, ameen. I admire her strength and patience - I do not know if I could be as patient or persevere as she is - may Allah reward her!

Suddenly I feel so lost and small. Lost in this darkness around me. I need... something.

I'll dream about better days, for me and my friends. I will remember cheer and reject despair. I will and slowly this feeling will disappear till next time.

I want to be strong of heart and of will, I want to be a good sister to all those who know me, I want to achieve my goals, and fulfill my dreams... I guess the only one who can make any of that happen is me.

To be strong I have to BE strong, to have will I have to enforce it on myself....

Either way - I'm still standing :-)

And I'm still watching lots of anime (yay!) - its One Piece that I'm onto now while I wait for more Bleach and Naruto to pile up so I can watch it all in one go!

One Piece is very different in its look to Naruto or Bleach - that smoothness or i guess coolness isnt there -but the storyline IS interesting, as are the concepts. It has taken about 90 episodes for me to really get into it but :-D whats a girl to do!!

More more!!!!!!!!!!