chillin with the willin

I write this as I sit here listening to Red Hot Chilli Peppers & Linkin Park at the same time as my cousin is playing on his guitar.... its nice just to sit here. I have been sat here for a few hours tonight just listening to the music, even before he came home.

I'v been thinking about life, love and everything as they say - just contemplating on where I am coming from and where I wanna go and life-altering thoughts like that. Tho i shud make clear that I have not reached any conclusions rather I just liked thinking on these issues. I needed to clear some head space and lets be honest I am not a very introspective person.

SO with some good rock in the back ground I just chilled out, lay back and relaxed and let the thoughts run thru my head. As I did this I realised I have not done this for some time, in fact a really really long time.

Somewhere in there, the voices, memories and talking in my head i found some kind of peace with who I am. Mayb I dont need t0 change who I am to please everybody; mayb they shud stop asking me to change and kiss my ass! Most these ppl havnt even made a decent effort to get to know ME - so why shud I care enough to change for them?

I am a pretty fun person and I have a laugh and generally those with me do too - so thats good, positive even. People like me - i figure if i was all that bad they wudnt! :-)

SO - I am gonna try loving me more and finding out who I am not what people want me to be. And if who I am doesnt fit into their preconcieved boxes then all the better!!