I could stare into the nothingness forever - but I'm not going to let myself. Or I am going to try.
The feelings are hard to describe, the silence in my ears is loud. It makes it hard to think. I feel ill. I feel so tired that I am slurring my words but I have sleep most of the last 24 hours. Typing these words is tiring my arms.
My body aches.
The world spins.
Silence echos.
Beneath it all is stress - I shud be working, revising for exams that mean so much to me and my future. If I fail all my hard work, all my hopes, will be nothing.
Nothingness.
It feels like all that is left.
Allahumma 'aafini fi badani, Allahumma 'aafini fi
sam'i, Allahumma 'aafini bi basri
(Oh Allah, Grant Health to my body, Oh Allah, Grant health to my
hearing, Oh Allah, Grant health to my sight)
I keep repeating the dua - pray to Allah to help me through this. I do not have the strength. Oh Lord, give me strength.
"When Allah decreed the Creation He pledged Himself by writing in His book which is laid down with Him: My Mercy prevails over My Wrath" Hadith (Muslim; al-Bukhari)
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