Week 3

It has been my Primay Placement week in the PGCE and I was based in a school in an area of social deprevation and challenge. It was an interesting week and a somewhat educational one. It makes me so sad and angry to see the situation these children are in, inescapable viscious circles of their lives. Its not just the poverty, its almost as if thats the least of their problems, its their parents, the ignorance, the culture and the society and the stigma of that society will stick to them forever. Only a few will escape..... it makes me so so sad.
Its heartbreaking really. These kids are no stupider, no less able, no less worthy than others, yet they will never have an equal chance just because of their circumstances.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Nelson Mandela

I also have a lot to think about in my personal life right now - I cant seem to avoid being upset again and again and again. I just dont know how to deal with it. I dont know how to resolve the inescapable issues that plague my life again and again. I am so sick of it.
I dont know whether I want to harden my heart to these hurts or have my heart be softer and allow my heart to touch Allah more.

I wish I had a better personality and that I was a better person - I wish I was a better Muslim. I try. I do try.
Insha'allah, that day will come....