26

I've turned 26. Yesterday. I don't quite know what to say, or if there is anything to say! I find it hard to believe I have lived 26 years - where have all the years gone?!? I seemed to done a "1, 2 , skip a few..." deal.

Time passes in the blink of an eye and here years of my life have passed and I feel like in the rush to live life I have barely noticed their passing.

I feel somewhat sad at what I see as my lack of achievements or progress in life but then again, and here I feel like I'm making excuses, a lot has happened in the past 10 years. Not much of it was under my control unfortunately.

Then again, God has blessed me with a lot too. After all, many do not even live to 26 - its a blessing in itself. I feel blessed by Allah in so many ways and yet at the same time... I feel kinda short-changed. I get the feeling that this is not the right way to feel!! lol

26.

How the hell did I get to 26??? I don't feel old or mature or grown up to be 26!! Most of my friends are married, or getting married or even having kids!! Wtf?!?! How did I get here??

Working with children is a blessing - children are little bundles of inpiration that seem to sparkle even in the darkest days. They approach everything in a new and fresh way and everyday is a new opportunity for them. You'll never see a kid treating play-time as a repeat - "why is this here again?" - they just jump right is with zeal and ever abundant energy and just have a blast.

Thats how I want to live my life everyday. Afterall every single day is an opportunity, a gift from Allah and I want to be able to treat it differently and enjoy that day in a unique way. I want to be unique in my approach, as unique as all children are. I want to become a better person, a better Muslim, every day. I want to love and be loved every day. I want to do as much as I can every day. I don't ever want to look back and regret anything.

Although I do believe I'v become boring! I'd now rather just have a cup of tea with friends than have a party - I just can't be bothered! It just seems like too much effort and I can't party as long as I used to anyway and I dont want to! Is this wat being in ur late 20s is all about?!!

I wish for so much. But wishing is futile. Life is to be gotten on with and I must be grateful for what I have and work with that to the best of my ability.

Its just that I can't stop being me; and the me I am now doesnt like herself very much at all most of the time.

I just dont know how to stop.