As many of you may be aware my health has not been good these past few winter months- in fact I seem to suffer from an abundance of colds and virus's every winter. Which may explain a reason why I love the summer so damn much - less illness!!Anyway, this year is no exception. Even though I have had the 'flu jab I seem to be ill almost all the time. Ok so maybe what I'm getting isnt the 'flu but everything else - colds upon colds, throat infections, ear aches, leg pain (ok so that has now been explained), random temperatures and fevers... it feels like if I manage to get over one virus another just comes along and infects me.
I'm exhausted. Being ill all the time isnt easy - a walk across the road exhausts me, washing the dishes is actually a chore that tires me out now!
Its hard to believe how much energy can be leeched just by getting one cold after another!
I am starting to think that maybe, just maybe, its all in my head. I mean seriously, if it was then how would i prove that i was really ill??
Mayb the snuffles and sore throats are actually caused by some virus but the random temperature spikes and fevers, maybe they are just caused by me?? Or maybe I'm not as ill as I think I am? Maybe I just need to push myself more?? But how do I prove this?
How do I prove that I am actually ill or that its all psychological??
I certainly dont feel well. The aches, pains, fevers, temperatures, dizziness, lethargy etc etc all feel real. And I honestly dont enjoy sitting at home feeling like crap!!
yet here I am suspecting myself of psychologically hijacking my own health!!
I wish I did not suspect myself all the time - it makes me feel that much worse to think I'm faking it, even to myself! I hope that sometime soon the Dr will just tell me whats wrong - even if her answer is a disorder which means "u have a crappy immune system and there is nothing we can do about it".
The amount of time I have missed off work - I'm probably gonna get fired. Or asked to leave.
Ugh!! But I swear - I am ill!! but then isnt that exactly what a paranoid hypochondraic wud say??
2 comments:
wow, I feel your pain. The flu got me this year and today is day 5 of suffering. It just seems like infections love attacking me. I've been sick 6 times this winter! I was convinced that something was wrong with me but when I seen my doc he couldn't even help me! This sucks. Well hope you're all better.
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!
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