I did something awful today. So awful, I feel so bad so I just had to write about it.
I was stood at the bus stop (much of my time is spent waiting for buses at these stops - also used by men and dogs alike as urinals) and I saw this bent old man trying to run for the bus. For some reason instead of just stopping the bus I just looked at it and then at him and for some reason that I cant understand did nothing for about 5 seconds - 5 seconds in which the bus left!
Why didnt I do anything to stop the bus for this old man?
I felt, feel, so bad. He just stood there and watched the bus he missed by about 2 seconds pull away from the curb. He wasnt panting but he looked out of breath. I felt so evil! argh!
I hate seeing old people... I dont mean that in a mean way. I mean I HATE seeing old people alone - someone should be looking after them, they are someones father or mother, sister or aunt.... why do they have to carry their own shopping? Why should they have to run for the bus?
Ugh! I hate seeing them suffer - the elderly should be the most looked after, they deserve our ultimate respect.... we need to look after them.
but for now... I just feel so so sooo bad.
3 comments:
i know what you mean sis, i get really worked up when i see them alone.
i guess some times being passive in this country really rubs off on us and we dont even realise where doing it, the fact that you feel bad about it is a good thing, it means you have a conscience and that you relasie your mistakes.
Oh kitty, if it makes you feel better once i was in a lift and the doors started to close a man came out of nowhere and tried to get on, the lift doors closed on him and i just stood there watching as if having an outer body experience while the man in the lift tried to pull the poor man into the lift. To make it even less barible i was standing next to the controls and could have pressed the open button at any point.
i have no idea why i just didn't react at all... i beat myself up about it for ages but i did learn to measure my reactions though so now i react faster.
learning experience eh
its just annoying - its like somehow my subconscious made this decision for me and I (my conscious mind) had nothing to do with it!
Why is it that sometimes we react and sometimes we stand by and just dont??? Its not that I didnt want to react, I just.... didnt.
Passive is so the right work WA!
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