frienships

"Friends are family that we chose."

I have many people repeat this phrase throughout my lifetime. But if we chose them and chose to spend time, money, effort and hard work maintaining these friendships then why dont we treat our friends better??

My friends are an enormous part of my life and I do my best to make sure they know how important they are to me. They are my friends because I like them, love them, want to know them, want to spend time with them; because they make me happy and because by being my friend they make me a better person.

Thats wat friendship means to me. The Prophet (SAW) said in a hadith that our friends are a mirror image of ourselves and therefore we should be careful wat company we keep.

This is so true.

So when I feel like I have been let down by a friend - it hurts. And I feel very betrayed. I do not understand why that friend could not have been more understanding or more sensitive. No one is perfect so I try making 70 excuses for them. But sometimes the hurt is deep, and the excuses run out after time....

This one particular friend was close to me. She helped me a lot in the past and she was part of my little "family" - the friends I keep close because I love them. Hoping they love me too, of course! :-)

Anyways, while I was in London she didnt really make an effort to keep in touch but I did. I feel like because I wasn't there, in her face, she didnt have time for me. I was not part of her little gang anymore...
When I came back to Manchester she had a whole LOT happening in her life, as did I, yet I still made an effort to meet her, get back on track, come clean regarding my hurt and my feelings. No such luck. I have been in Manchester a couple months and after texting and calling her numerous times I have given up.

I hate to have to give up on a friendship but its a two-way street. If she has no time for me, even when I needed her, I cannot keep chasing her for a friendship that cannot, obviously, stand the test of time. I feel bad because we both invested a lot in our friendship but I obviously mistook her depth of feelings on the friendship.

I feel angered. How can she ignore me like this? NOt to mention the hurt and frustration I feel. Its just so..... frustrating.

But - I tried. I truly did.